What are the effects of sexual violence?
In a dangerous situation the human defence system produces an adrenalin rush which helps us to be more alert than usual; it mobilises us to either fight or to run. Traumatic reactions occur when we are overwhelmed, that is, when neither fight nor flight is possible. This can produce traumatic changes in body and mind. This happens when you experience sexual violence.
Disassociating
Many people experience a change in consciousness during trauma - if you cannot escape by actions you try to escape in your mind. You may feel detached and calm and not feel any emotion. You may deny that anything happened to you at all. You may have experienced the trauma as if observing from outside your body or as if it was happening to another person. You may not be able to remember parts of the traumatic event or the memory of it may feel completely unreal. You may seek to escape the memory by taking drugs or drinking excessively. Although this is a normal reaction to a traumatic situation that helps you to survive in the short term, it is important to realise that in the long term it will be self destructive and will need re-examining.
Remember it is possible to heal from the effects of trauma
Short term effects
Permanent alert: Expecting danger to return at any moment. This may result in startling easily, reacting irritably to small triggers, not being able to sleep and eat as normal. Feelings of intense fear and anxiety are not uncommon. Flashbacks and nightmares: It may be impossible to forget the traumatic event, especially in the short term but also even years later the event can come back into your memory. Flashbacks can be very vivid and detailed - yet it might be difficult to express in words what is happening in them. Re-enacting dangerous situations: Seeking out dangerous situations to prove to yourself, for example, that the rape has not affected you.
Long term effects
Your self esteem and personal power can be affected: The experience of sexual violence violates your boundaries and sense of control in the world. Sexual violence humiliates you and gives you the message that you are of little value. Survivors can carry guilt and shame and you may feel suicidal, self-destructive or be addicted to alcohol or other drugs. The trauma may lead to periods in psychiatric care. Talking about your story and being believed can be a big step in regaining power and control in your life and building up your sense of self-worth.
Your Body
You may have developed an eating disorder, an addiction or other physical illness connected to your experience. You may have disturbing dreams or nightmares. If you find it hard to look at your body and listen to the messages it gives you, support and counselling can be a great help in learning to do that.
Your Feelings
You may have survived the experience of sexual violence by not feeling the overwhelming feelings you had at that time or by blocking out physical pain. The effects of that might still be with you. You might be depressed. You may find it hard to feel a full range of feelings or to tell the difference between them. Feeling the anger, fear, grief and sadness that you could not feel back then may be scary. But it is possible to recover and feel a full range of feelings.
Intimacy
If you had a trusting relationship with your abuser, whether it was from chatting to them for a short while or that they were a relative, you may now find it hard to trust anyone, to have close friends or have a healthy and non-abusive relationship. You can change these feelings over time as you regain control over your life. Support from a friend or a counsellor can be a great help.
Sexuality
When there is abuse, sexual arousal can become linked with feelings of shame, disgust, pain and humiliation. You may have disconnected from sexual feelings or have left your body during the experience. You might have been told that all you are good for is sex. Today you may have difficulties in sexual relationships. You may find it impossible to have any sexual contact or might find yourself pursuing sex you really do not want or find it hard to say no. You may have had partners that have sexually abused you. You can learn over time to identify your needs and to look after yourself. You can learn to build a safe sexual relationship and work through the feelings of shame and disgust that might have been with you for a long time.
The hardest part is over, you have survived the rape/abuse.
The experience of sexual violence was isolating, in your recovery reach out to others for help - whether you choose a close friend, a support group or a counsellor.
Call us on 1800 750 780 we are here to listen and support you.